


Evelyn by Kim Tillman, Silent Films

by Kealpos



Series: W.A.Gging to the beat [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gen, M/M, this is for an au babeyies.............
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 13:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12771771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kealpos/pseuds/Kealpos
Summary: Jeremy Heere cries and talks about his and Eric's past.(For an au. Main story not up yet)





	Evelyn by Kim Tillman, Silent Films

**Author's Note:**

> The song in the title reminds me of Squip/Jeremy, quite unfortunately. Still a good song.

****

“Jeremy?”

Michael Mell, with a tired, raspy voice, pushed the name out of his mouth, knocking on the door to his boyfriend’s room.

 

“Babes?” He slurred, slumping onto the door.

“Your dad called me. Said you wouldn't stop crying. Lemme in.”

 

Jeremy Heere never really cried. It was shit about being trans and toxic masculinity and not wanting to be seen as weak compared to his problems that kept him from letting his eyes leak, even if it was scientifically proven to make you feel better. Michael told him this often; at this point, thanks to the world beating Jeremy up so much it was a rarity to even see him smile, it was more than his right to cry.

 

Anyways, with that said, if Jeremy was crying, it must’ve been a big deal.

 

The young man on the other side of the door shuffled over and opened the door with no warning to Michael, who almost fell over. He stumbled over his feet until he righted himself, looking directly at his boyfriend’s face.

 

Jeremy did not look good. Bloodshot eyes, bags under them (though those were already there), his hair knottier than usual, shaky hands, and a quivering lip.

Michael looked at him, his eyes a little wide, before opening his arms to signal that he could give a hug, and Jeremy ran into his arms, immediately bursting back crying.

 

Several minutes later, the two were on Jeremy’s bed, the sobbing finally coming down until it stopped, Jeremy breathing heavily.

 

The room was silent for at least a few minutes until Jeremy’s tired, weak voice asked, “Can I tell you something?”

 

Michael pet his hair and hummed an affirmation, Jeremy leading into “And you won’t hate me, right? Like, even if it fucking sucks and is a terrible thing to have done or said or whatever?”

 

“Of course, יקירי,” Michael said, using one of the few Hebrew words Jeremy had taught him. And, in an attempt to lighten the mood maybe a little bit, he said, “I would say unless you killed somebody, but I already know you have.”

 

“Don’t!” Jeremy yelped, his voice loud, lowering the volume before continuing in spite of Michael’s shock. “Don’t.. Don’t joke about that. Okay? Please. It’s what I’m talking about.”

 

Michael silently nodded, his voice shaped in an ‘O’, letting Jeremy take a few deep breaths.

 

“I’m just now, months later, processing the deaths of my mom and Eric. And like.. I’m having- I’m no-not t-taking it wil- well. So. I mean, of course I’m gonna be sad about my mom, and of course I’m gonna be all fucking fucking fucked up about Eric but. I’m sad all… all _wrong_.”

 

“Eh?”

“Mom was already presumed to be dead and stuff for years before.. So I kinda got the chance to mourn and get over her death. This morning is like. A lot smaller and weaker. And it should be big, right? But on the other hand, Eric mourning is just.”

 

Jeremy shuddered in Michael's arms looking up at the ceiling.

 

“I was still just a kid. I starting my junior year in a few months for the third time. He was at least in his late late twenties when I was just a few months into being eighteen. He never directly hurt me until everything went downhill, and you were there for that, but. But like. God! I was the dumbass fucking teenager, lost and confused and looking for role models and him and my mom were right there. And mom was easy to know, you know? But Eric was mysterious and far off and. Fuck! He was like. A favorite actor on a TV show.”

 

“Where are you going with this, Jere?”

“I was.. Fuck. I was in love with him, Michael.”

 

Michael paused the hair petting for a second, his hand deep in Jeremy’s long mess, but he quickly resumed.

“Well. I. Don’t know what to say.”

 

“That’s alright. I should just keep explaining anyways. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything. It was a minor crush on an older, confident male role model like you had on David Tennant a couple years ago. But then he seemed to notice and sometimes he gave me a little hope and. Fuck! I eventually fell into a deep sick love and it just made it so much easier for him to control me. I don’t think he was expecting me to not follow after him like a literal lovesick puppy the night with my mom. I think he was expecting me to stay. For him. And when I didn’t, when I ran and listened to my mom, he was shocked. And angry. It was both hard and easy to fight him.”

 

Jeremy sighed, dropping his head.

“I dunno. I feel gross now that I’m actually thinking about it. He seemed so close to making moves on me, and that terrified me back then, which I mistook for excitement nervousness, not actual fear. It was kinda both. I miss him sometimes. I’m scared, Michael.”

 

“So..” The boy holding him said, thinking. “So. Were you crying out of mourning or because of.. All that?”

“Both.”

“Ah.”

 

Jeremy hummed, tilting his head and looking at Michael with a mixture of happy and sad.

“Any words of wisdom, mahal?”

 

Michael swallowed, shrugging his shoulders.

“Afraid not. Thank you for talking about this to me, babe, but I recommend talking to a therapist.”

 

“Yeah,” Jeremy sighed sleepily.

“Bedtime?”

“Please stay.”

 

Michael smiled a teeny bit.

“Okay, but we do have to lay down.”

 

The two boys readjusted, laying onto the mattress before Jeremy curled up, signaling for Michael to be a big spoon. He did so quickly, and the two’s heat came together as they drifted off to sleep, some of Jeremy’s mourning subdued. Not much. Just enough to last the night free from thoughts of Eric or death.

 

**Author's Note:**

> the au this is for is a werewolf jeremy one!!!! some info for it is on my tumblr as W.A.G au, and im writing a main plot. blease come talk 2 me abt it.............
> 
> @transbrookelohst


End file.
